Coots

• 82 years of age by birth records but claims he's 39.
• Can Grow Hair on most parts of his body with the exception of the top of his head.
• Memory: Repeats the same story of winning the junior high hundred yard dash.
• "Never to old for a Booty Call" which gives him a reason to show off his most appealing feature, to the opposite sex.
• Forgets the simplest things or has what he calls "Senior Moments".
• Once fabled to be six feet tall now 3 feet 8 inches with slippers on.
• Most of his communication consists of hacking, burping, passing gas and yelling out obscenities, and often in the context of a family wedding or funeral.